I Would like to share some memories of Aunt Norma with you. As a young girl I can remember going to my Aunt Norma's & Uncle Don's house with my parents, Bob & Louise Phillips. My dad & mom were very close to Norma & Don. My dad was killed a day after my 12th birthday Aug. 28th of "1965". Norma and Don both took his death very hard...especially Norma because he was her brother. She told me that he had just stopped by to see her before he was taken from us in a bad car wreck while riding home from work with Aunt Helen's husband Jim Sanderson. She told me that she'd had a bad toothache that day and my dad told her she should go to the dentist. He was killed shortly after that and she said they could hear the sirens not realizing it was her precious brother Bob. My dad died before reaching the hospital. His death shattered all of the family, especially me & my brother Bobby [Bob Phillips] because we had just lost our mother 2 1/2 years earlier from cancer and was just learning how to accept the fact that she wasn't ever coming back to us. Bob & I were visiting our mom's sister Bonnie Leffler when Grandma Phillips called us with the devastating news that we were now orphans not knowing what was going to happen to us. It were playing a board game "SORRY" when heard about my dad. Dad married Rosemary Hull shortly after losing our mom. Shirley was only 1 year old and Sharon was born the day after dad's funeral so they grew up not even having a father at all and Bob doesn't remember awhole lot either because he was only 8 1/2 years old when mom died and I had just turned 12. Dad & Rosemary were supposed to come pick us up from our Aunt Bonnie's on my birthday and we wondered why they hadn't shown up and then that's when we received the call finding out that our dad was now gone too. I can still picture my brother Bob sitting at mom's funeral next to dad crying. It hurt dad and then I saw him crying so then it made me cry too. Bob took our mom's death so hard that he didn't want to go to dad's funeral so Bonnie & I went by ourselves. I was so crazy over our dad! He was "MY HERO", and I thought he was the most awesome dad there ever was. I didn't think anything could take him away from me because he was so strong. He was like superman to me as a kid. He was all we had left in this world and it's always been hard for me and Bob to understand why God took him home. Grandma Phillips told me that a week before he was killed he'd been drinking and came to her work at the shelter care drunk and crying telling her he'd never be happy without "LUKE". He told her he didn't know why she had to die because she NEVER hurt anyone in her who life. Mom was only 26 years old when she passed away. Uncle Jim fought for his life and was seriously injured in the wreck. He was driving and dad was a passenger in Jim's car when he was killed and died on the way to the hospital. The first thing Jim wanted to know when he came too was how "Bob" was and to not upset him they had to tell him that my dad was ok or they said Jim would never have made it because he & my dad were good friends! He would rather have given up his own life then to have had dad be the one to die. I was told that one time Uncle Jim was really upset and crying blaming himself for dad's death and Uncle Jake had to snap him out of it. Poor Uncle Jim suffered for many years blaming himself for what happened that dreadful day when dad was killed and so was the young teenager that they hit head on with when the sun blinded Jim as he went to pass another car. Aunt Norma never did get a driver's license because of dad getting killed in that car wreck, and she used to stay in bed when his birthday rolled around. Her kid's would ask their dad [Don] why their mom was in bed and he'd explain to them that she wasn't feeling very well because it was their Uncle Bob's birthday [Oct. 23rd]. Bob & I lived with our Aunt Bonnie and her husband Terry for approximately 5 years before leaving there and moving to Carthage to stay with Grandma Phillips. I was only 17 and expecting our first child [Jay] when Aunt Norma came back into my life. She was my stength that got me through it all. She'd call me all the time from the shelter care asking me to have Grandma drop me off so that we could sit and talk after she got the residents to bed first. We talked on the phone everyday pretty much. She took such an interest in me and it was a bond that lasted my whole life through. I would show her baby clothes that I had picked up at yard sales etc. for my baby ]Jay] and she always got so excited to see all the cute stuff I'd gotten. You would have thought that I was her daughter and that Jay was going to be her first Grandchild because of how happy it made her to be a part of my life like that. Uncle Jake's wife Ruth made me 2 very pretty maturnity outfits too which I've never forgotten. That meant alot to me too! I had Jay at the memorial hospital there in Carthage and then John & I were married 12 day's after Jay was born and we moved back to Burlington Iowa where John was born and raised. Grandma was always working hard to pay the bills and to put food on the table. She did the best she could for me under the circumstances. Grandpa worked at the Lyon's Limber yard in Carthage and worked hard, but he was a week-end alcoholic which made life beyond difficult for her to say the least. I saw Aunt Norma coming in and out of Grandma's there at 915 Walnut Street and went with Grandma to visit with her a couple of times but I didn't stay in contact with her like I had been which I always hated because I needed Aunt Norma in my life. She was so busy with her job & family and we just kind of went our own seperate way's. She told me not too terribly long before she died that she should have stayed in touch with me. I told her it was alright that I understood she was working hard trying to raise her own kid's etc. Aunt Norma & Grandma both felt so bad for me & Bob that we lost both of our parents and that we didn't have it very good growing up after we lost our parents. Shirley & Sharon had a hard life too, but they did have their mom. Shirley has always missed not knowing our dad. Aunt Norma told her that she looked more like him then any kid he had. She's got his big eyes. He nickanaed everybody, and he called me "PUNKY THE MONKEY", Bob "RUBY ANN", & Shirley "MEANIE MARIE". He was looking forward to Sharon being born, but unfortunately he never got to experience meeting her. Aunt Norma & Uncle Don moved from West Point where they lived on their farm for many years raising all 7 of their kid's and helped with the raising of their Grandchildren too. They moved to Carthage and Grandma lived with them until she went into the Montebello Nursing home in Hamilton. I was spending alot of time at the nursing home with Grandma and she told me to go stay with Aunt Norma because she'd be glad to have me. That I could eat there anytime that Norma wouldn't care. So, I started going to Aunt Norma's and we picked up from where we left off and it was like we had never been apart. We still had that special love between us and I will treasure my memories we shared before she passed away. I think that Aunt Norma was afraid that I would stop coming to see her after we lost Grandma, but I reassured her that I loved her just like I loved Grandma and that her home was home away from home to me and she said she wanted it to be and that she knew that I loved her. So, after Grandma died I continued to go spend time with Aunt Norma & Uncle Don every chance I got. We had so much fun together, especially when it was just her, Uncle Don & myself. I was always trying to do special things to surprise Aunt Norma and I loved to clean her beautiful Victorian house there at 309 N. Marion St. in Carthage. She always told me that I had a knack for decorating. I got her so many nice things that there for awhile she couldn't decide what she liked the best. I had gotten her an awesome home made shelf with "THE DOTLE'S" name on it, a beautiful engraved wedding clock for hers & Uncle Don's 47th wedding Anniversary, and a breath taking "Jesus" wall grouping that she also loved, plus many other pretty things. It thrilled Aunt Norma to be made over that way by me. Don't think she didn't show off her stuff because she did! Ha!Ha! She was just like Grandma in that way. I decorated Grandma's room at the nursing home and Wilma told me that she & her mom went to see Grandma one time and that Grandma told them to come look at her room and see what Margie had done to it. Wilma said that Grandma told them that I wanted her to have the best and that I paid good money for her stuff on her walls etc. Wilma told me that her mom nudged her and just grinned. I was spending the night with Aunt Norma & Uncle Don one time and out of the blue Aunt Norma asked me if I would hang a birdhouse shelf on their bed room wall for her? I said "YES", but I wasn't very good at hanging things that required more then 1 nail and she said she knew I could do it because I was good at decorating! Ha!Ha! I told her that it was almost midnight but she didn't care she wanted me to hang it up there so off to their bed room we went with hammer & nail in hand. She told me that Linda Finton had gotten her that shelf at a yard sale. It was a very cute shelf and Aunt Norma really liked it alot. So, Uncle Don's laying there in bed taking all of this in while Aunt Norma's laying on the foot of the bed across his feet to give her support. She's watching every move I make and is laying there grinning from ear to ear. I have many AWESOME MEMORIES of her, but this is probably my fondest memory. I was shocked that I got that shelf hung perfectly straight and it took 2 nails! Ha!Ha! I was going through her house looking for some cute bird statue's to put on her shelf. I told her it needed a little yellow bird since there was alot of yellow birds in the design on the shelf and she agreed. So, the next time I went down to see her I took her a real sweet little yellow "FINCH" bird statue and put it on her shelf for her and she just loved it! I have the little bird in my curio cabinet. Aunt Norma knew that if she told me something needed done around the house after she went to bed that when she got up the next morning it'd be done! We were sitting in Grandma's room one evening and she was telling me that her shelf with all her bird staue's needed dusting really bad. That there were alot of cob webs up there but she couldn't get up there to clean it. So, after she & Uncle Don slipped off to bed I got a chair and took everything down and cleaned it for her. The next morning when she came around the corner she noticed immediately that I had cleaned that shelf for her and she went on and on about how much better it looked now. She knew I'd clean it for her the second she went to bed! Ha!Ha! Once time I cleaned out Carla's glass curio that was in Aunt Norma's front room and the minute she walked into the front room she commented on what a good job I did cleaning it out for her. There wasn't anything that I wouldn't have done for her or Uncle Don. Aunt Norma was darned good to me too! She & Wilma used to go in together and get me Christmas & Birthday gifts. The last time that Shirley & I were to see Aunt Norma the end of June of "2005" we were sitting there on her deck and she asked me if I'd like to have my birthday presents now, and of course I said "YEAH", so she had Carla go get them and bring them out on the deck for me to open. I got many sweet things but the 2 gifts that were extra special to me was an adorable Precious Moments figurine of a little native girl with a monkey on her head and she's standing on the world. Wilma told her mom that wasn't a very appropriate Precious Moment to get for me and Aunt Norma told her it was the one she wanted because the little girl was standing on top of the world and she thought the world of Marge! With my dad nicknaming me 'PUNKY THE MONKEY" it made it even that more special! Then they gave me a real sweet Precious Moments picture that says "FRIENDS ARE GIFTS THAT HEAVEN SENDS". She even signed the back of the picture for me and Wilma said she told her that an ink pen would go through it but Aunt Norma did it anyway! Ha!Ha! Wilma told me that the first pen her mom tried using ran out of ink and her mom threw the pen and said "DAMN PEN RAN OUT OF INK", and had Wilma get her another one. She wrote, "HAPPY BIRTHDAY" TO MARGE, LOVE NORMA & WILMA. I have that picture hanging above a special cabinet in my living room where I have set up a very special memorial on the top of the cabinet in memory of Aunt Norma & Uncle Don. She liked Shirley's pink purse that she had with her and Shirley's little green car. I was doing alot of walking back then and we were talking about how far I walked everyday. I told her I was walking a many miles a day and she told me that would be like me walking to Burnside and back. She said she believed me that I was doing it. She asked me what shoes I wore when I walked and I told her the tennis shoes that I had on and she goes, well they sure don't look very dirty to be walking that far! HA!Ha! Carol Lemley told me that she walked her little Grandson Alex over to see Norma right before she died and that Aunt Norma told her that Marge was walking the roads day and night! Ha!Ha! Wilma told me that the day my Aunt Norma died I lost my biggest fan. I was trying to help encourage Aunt Norma to walk even a little bit if she could because she wanted to lose some of the weight that she had put on. She told Wilma that Marge had faith in her that she could do it! Ha!Ha! She did walk down the block and was trying to walk around her dining room table, but poor Aunt Norma had too many health problems and wasn't able to lose any weight. She was always asking me what kind of a diet was I on etc. After she hurt her foot and was no longer able to work she wasn't getting any real exercise and the weight just poured on her that last year that she was alive. It was so hard to watch her try to get up after sitting so long. It was all she could do to walk at all. She loved the gifts that I got for her and she once told me that I didn't have to do that because I already had her love! I told her that I had her love years ago, and she said "THAT'S RIGHT"! I remember one time in particular she was sitting in Grandma's chair and she said to me in the cutest way possible with LOTS of body movement shaking her head and saying in the sweetest voice with so much love "MARGE, I OUGHTA TURN YOU OVER MY KNEE AND PADDLE YOUR BUTT"! Ha!Ha! We both just laughed real hard. One time Aunt Norma & I were sitting in Grandma's room talking about someone within our family that isn't very bright and I was telling her things about this person that cracked her up so bad that when Wilma called to talk to her mom she couldn't understand a word she was saying because we were laughing so hysterically! HA!Ha! Aunt Norma would try to tell Wilma what she was laughing about and Wilma never did get it out of her! Ha!Ha! Aunt Norma would laugh and say that we really shouldn't do that, and I'd go.."BUT, AUNT NORMA IT'S THE TRUTH"! and we'd start laughing all over again. She was a cut up and we sure DIDN'T miss "OUR TURN TO DANCE"! I called her up one time and was telling her about a beautiful "JESUS WALL GROUPING" that my cousin Carol Lemley had on her dining room wall and that it was the most beautiful picture of Jesus that I had ever seen. I told her that I ordered it for myself for Christmas and couldn't wait to get it. She said it sounded beautiful. We got off the phone and I decided to call her back and ask her where she'd put it if she had it. I told her that we already had her walls pretty well covered. She goes, I don't know where I'd put it, but I'd have to take something down...but now Marge DON'T you go buying it for me or I'll paddle your butt! Ha!Ha! I go, well I can't promise you that and she & I both cracked up. So, of course I ordered it from Carol since the picture was from Home Interiors and Bob Lemley made the special shelves that went so awesome with the picture and I had to go to K's Merchandise to get "THE LORD'S LAST SUPPER" statue that sat on the shelf. It came in early and I wanted Aunt Norma to enjoy it for Thanksgiving so I just took it on over to her when it came in. My brother Bob Phillips hung it all on her dining room wall for her and it just tickled her to death because he had to leave to go get a different tool that he had forgotten to bring with him and had to come back and Aunt Norma said it was great because it meant she got to see Bobby twice that day! Ha!Ha! He also repaired her dining room chair for her while he was there and one time he crawled underneath her house in freezing cold weather to repair a busted pipe. Lots of other family members were good to Aunt Norma & Uncle Don too! Aunt Norma also told Wilma that she bet I spent a pretty penny for that gorgeous Wedding Anniversary clock! Ha!Ha! She was something else and I miss her terribly as we all do. I used to call her as often as 3 times a day. We never ran out of things to talk about and everytime I called her you could just feel the love in her voice and the excitement to hear from me. If I didn't call her every other day at least she would worry that I was sick or there was something wrong. She asked Wilma one time if she'd heard from me lately and Wilma told her not lately and Aunt Norma told her if she heard from me to let her know because she was worried about me. Wilma told her that she had just seen me not that long ago! Ha!Ha! Aunt Norma told her that if they didn't hear from me soon that they'd have to give me a call. She was always thinking about me! When I'd be at Aunt Norma's house visiting her & Uncle Don I'd go up to Don and make over him giving him hugs and tell him that I loved him and Aunt Norma would say to him, "TELL MARGE YOU LOVE HER GRANDPA"! Aunt Norma & I talked about my parents all the time when we were alone. She told me that when Don worked in the timber with my dad that my mom would ride along with him to go to the store to pick up stuff to eat and that they were such good friends and people thought they were brother and sister. Aunt Norma & Uncle Don thought alot of my mom too! Aunt Rose told me that when my dad met my mom it was "LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT"! She told me that not too long before she died when I called her one day to talk to her. Aunt Norma used to tell people that we 4 kid's were a Treasure to her, but she's the one who was a Treasure to all of us! My finding Bob Loter brought Aunt Norma ALOT of joy right before she died. She wanted to know every little detail when we went to meet him for the very first time. So, I called her on my way back home and told her that I sat across the table from him and that it was almost like looking straight into dad's eyes becasue he looked so much like my dad. She got a brand new dress for the Phillip's reunion when we 4 kid's Welcomed Bob & his wife Charlotte into our family. I went all out for it because it was such a thrill for all of us kid's to find out that we had another brother! Bobby always wanted a brother and I still can't believe I made that happen for him at our ages! Ha!Ha! They just did got on a real fun fishing trip this past September. John & his brother Joe was there too. They all had a great time! Shirley & Sharon are happy to have another brother too. Shirley has told me before that I gave her two brother's! Ha!Ha! Bob & Charlotte Loter are super good people. Very nice people with busy lives and we appreciate what time they take to spend with us. We're happy that Bob wanted a relationship with us. Having him in our family has brought all of us joy. He's a great guy! It almost feels like we've known him our whole lives instead of just 3 short years. He's a very easy person to talk too. Dad dated Bob's mom Betty Loter before he met mine and Bobby's Mother and she got pregnant with Bob. Right before our dad got killed he told Rosemary that he had something he wanted to tell her and the family and he got killed before he was able to tell her. Rosemary believes he was going to tell her about having another son. Aunt Rose told me that mine and Bobby's mom knew that Betty was expecting a baby and that it was probably dad's child. Aunt Helen & Aunt Rose knew about his existence but talked about it. I was out at Linda Finton's one night looking at picture's on her computer when she pointed out a wedding photo of a young couple and asked me if I knew who they were and I told her "No"! She goes, look at the guy real close. Doesn't he look alot like Bobby with that dark curly hair when he was a teenager? By that time I was numb because it hadn't sunk in as to what she was saying. Then she finally blurted it out that it was my dad's son and his wife's wedding clipping! It freaked me out so I called Aunt Helen and asked her about it. She told me to look in the Keokuk area because that's where Betty was from when she dated my dad. She used to go on dates with my dad and Betty back then. Aunt Helen said she honestly thought we knew about Bob being our brother etc. and I explained to her that we weren't even born when that happened and that his name had never been mentioned by anyone our whole lives. I am grateful to Linda for telling me about him so that I could search for him hoping to meet him and prayed that he'd still be alive and would want to have a relationship with us. It didn't take me long before I found Bob through talking to his Uncle and he lead me to Betty. I called her and we talked for awhile and she gave me Bob's phone number and I left a message on his answering machine and he called his mom to find out who Marge Hillgartner was and his mom then told him that I was his sister. That was the first time that Bob knew he had a brother and 3 sister's. He said his step dad told him who his real father was when he was 21 but he didn't look for any of the family because he didn't want to cause any hard feeling's or anything. Then we met Bob & Charlotte at the Yoke's Lodge up by Des Moines and we've also visited him & Charlotte at their home in Polk City once also. We hope to have many more years to spend time with Bob & Charlotte. It's definitely a happy ending to a strange story. I was told that Grandma Phillips knew about Bob being her Grandson, but Aunt Rose told me that as far as she knew Grandma knew it as a rumor and not fact. Aunt Norma nor Uncle Jake knew about Bob either. All 4 of us kid's love Bob & Charlotte and feel it's a blessing to have them in our family! Aunt Norma told me if she'd known about him that she would have told us kid's. It came as quite a shock to her & Uncle Jake both as it did to us 4 kid's and to Rosemary not to mention the rest of dad's family. We only wish that Grandma Phillips could have met him. It would have brought her alot of joy to have met him knowing he's her Grandson and looks so much like her Bob!